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*How I Married American Lady through Facebook- Kazbanj*

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Kazbanj, a multimedia talented dude opens up on how he married an American Lady through Facebook friendship. Among other issues, he also speak on how to nurture and maintain lasting relationship in marriage. Enjoy.

IT’S BEEN 3YEARS AFTER, HOW DID YOU MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ?

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KAZBANJ Yes ooo, just like yesterday 2017, from facebook Hi, to lifetime partners. It was like a joke when we started the conversation on Facebook. With sleepless nights, it was not an easy task for me, but from the first day when Facebook poped up her picture as a friend, I strongly knew that she is my wife.

When I checked her profile picture I said to myself ‘who be this queen again oooo lol?” , I quickly checked her pictures to see if I could find more beautiful pictures of her and to see where she came from. Unfortunately there was no location or information on her profile. I checked her mutual friends then found she was friends with an old Facebook girlfriend I have been asking out for a relationship .When I realized they were friends I was just confused about everything. Two days later I told myself this is my wife I have to go for her.

I began to like her pictures and some of her posts before sending her a friend request telling myself anything that would make her accept my friend request means she’s mine, and she did. There were no messages from her that’s when I sent a direct message to her messenger

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I wrote “Hello Mrs. Tallman” I was trying to play a fast one on her to know if she was a married woman or not. I waited for days for her response to know my faith. Throughout those days I was always with my phone looking out for any notification of her response . It took about 3days before her response came in and guess what it was ? ‘Lolzz not ” Mrs” , ‘Miss Tallman’ . Immediately I got that message I screamed in the office , ‘ wow I have gotten a wife’ my colleague in the office was looking at me like this guy is really crazy big time. But to me I knew I had found my real love from that day. It’s just like in the bible when the woman with the issue of blood touched Jesus Christ and Jesus said someone touched me, I feel her touch. That’s how I felt that day.

That is how we started with introducing each other from that August 2017, till date. No day has gone by that we haven’t talked or facetime each other at least 6 times in a day. “Facebook brought us Together”.

TELL US ABOUT THE ADVENTURE SO FAR?

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KAZBANJ The adventure has been a beautiful experience that will ever happen in my life, because i am involved with someone that understands what love is all about and cherish it.

I remember visiting different places in Nigeria together. There was a day on our way from Atican Beach to visit Badagry slave Trade and the Point of no return in same Badary my car was overheating and we were coming from Okun Ajah and had only gotten to isolo Badagry at 6:30. Pm. We still had like 4 hours or more before we get to Badagry if not more . I had to tell my wife ” babe this is Nigeria, we can’t get to Badagry today. We should look for a mechanic here to fix this car, lodge in an hotel around here and by tomorrow morning we would continue our journey to Badagry”.

On arriving Badagry the next day, we got our hotel room first to relax as we ordered for our favorite meals. Afterwards ,our first visit was the slave trade, where one of the tour guides explained the stories .The most exciting part of the journey was when we visited the ‘Point of no return ‘ . According to the guide’s explaination any slave that got to this point was gone for good because they crossed them with a flying boat to the other side of the ocean. When we were at the boat together my wife looked at me whispering to me “honey are you sure we have not been kidnapped to the SLAVE TRADE” . I laughed and laughed even the guide saw it on her face that she was scared. From the boat to the other side took us about 45 minutes. When we alighted it took us another 1hour 30minutes walk to get to the red sea where the ship will onboard the slaves . So far, we have visited different places in Nigeria, having wonderful moments together and it was all adventurous too.

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POPULAR OPINION IS THAT NIGERIAN GUYS MARRY WHITE LADIES FOR SOCIAL AND FINANCIAL SECURITY. DOES THIS RING TRUE FOR YOU?

KAZBANJ I don’t believe in such, we do have many wealthy young men here that marry white ladies just because of love and their culture, some don’t even have any plans of travelling abroad and they take good care of their white women here in Nigeria.

I am an example. I married my wife just because of the character I perceived of her and she honors and respects me as a husband. These are some of the qualities I really want in a woman.

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She really changed my perspective and what I heard about American women behaviour, so it’s not really about social or financial security. I do send money to my wife from Nigeria to America and that’s not because I am a millionaire or billionaire. I am just a normal average Nigerian man living and hustling here. I do it because she’s my wife and its my responsibility to take good care of her as a good husband, and I have not seriously thought of staying abroad for now, because I have my business doing well here in Nigeria.

YOU MENTIONED THAT SHE IS OVER THERE AND YOU ARE HERE IN NIGERIA, HOW DOES THIS DISTANCE IMPACT YOUR MARRIAGE?

KAZBANJ Well, we are still young and still have more years to live together. For now It really gives me more time to build my businesses . She still comes around often and we travel together for vacation to other countries and for our wedding Anniversary. With time we are going to decide where to base maybe in America or Nigeria, but we haven’t decided yet.

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WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE KEY INGREDIENT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

KAZBANJ Understanding and communication is the key ingredient of our marriage. I married a woman who understands what marriage is all about, we do have disagreement sometimes because we’re coming from a different culture and background, but it doesn’t last more than an hour, no matter what the issues are we laugh over it. That’s the key ingredient.

If there’s another life to come again, I will still marry her over and over again.

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WHAT CULTURE SHOCK EXPERIENCES DID YOU HAVE?

KAZBANJ The only culture shock experience I had so far was when my wife was coming to Nigeria for the first time, for our traditional marriage, non of her family members came with her. she came all alone, not that the family was never happy about the marriage. They were all in support of the marriage. They just saw it as something not really important since the two partners are happy. family members are happy too with the blessings, which is really different in my own culture, and this other thing that shocked me was that when ever we went out on a date she offers to pay the Bills. In Nigeria you know the opposite is the case . The guy is expected to pay for things we bought especially as a husband. She would just go ‘ babe let me pay for this you have been paying for everything’.

DID YOU ENVISAGE ANY KIND OF RESISTANCE FROM YOUR FAMILY?

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KAZBANJ Well, not at all. When I told my mom that there is a lady I met on internet, a Christian from America, and the way I see our friendship it will lead to a marriage ,she said ‘OYINBO OMO AMERICA Kee? Laaduru gbogbo Obirin to waa ni Nigeria OYINBO le ri mu wa le’., I laughed. Meaning ‘ of all the ladies here in Nigeria, a White lady in America is who you decide to bring home, how will you be able to control her? The truth about it is that 90 percent of African mothers are afraid of their Son getting married to a white lady just because of what they do hear about American ladies lifestyle over there. The only thing that convinced my mom about my wife was when I told her she is a Christian and always pray for me when ever we’re on phone talking so when my mom heard all that she got a little convinced with that.

When she spoke with her on phone and video chat, she was pleased so she just said If that is what God wants for your life that will give you happiness go ahead and God will make everything go well but she told me to fast and pray about it. Mum was all about a person having the fear of God be you Mr President’ s daughter or an American Citizen. If you don’t have the fear of God in you or be a God lover there is no way you can be a good person and you are not acceptable that way because she’s a strong believer. She told me to pray about it because marriage is a blessing from God “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord”.

I use this opportunity to remember my MOM, Deaconess ESTHER MOJISOLA ADEFOLAMI. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.

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Nigeria

A DISTINGUISHED EXIT: Construction Division Celebrates Engr. Bello Kabir as He Retires from FCT Civil Service After 34 Years of Meritorious Service

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A Seasoned Civil and Structural Engineer, Fountain of Knowledge, Mentor, Role Model and Distinguished Patriot Exits Active Service After More Than Three Decades of Dedicated Service

It was a day filled with deep emotions, heartfelt tributes, fond memories and profound appreciation as staff of the Construction Division, Department of Public Building, which organized the valedictory session at the Director’s Conference Room, alongside staff from other divisions within the Department, other departments of the Federal Capital Development Authority, FCDA, and the Ministry of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, joined colleagues, professional associates, friends and well-wishers to honour a distinguished son of the FCT Civil Service, Engr. Bello Kabir, on the occasion of his retirement from active service upon attaining the mandatory retirement age of 60 years.

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2nd Left: Engr. Bello Kabir

 

The valedictory ceremony was not merely a farewell. It was a celebration of a remarkable career, a distinguished professional journey and an enduring legacy built over more than three decades of service to the Federal Capital Territory and the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Having joined the FCT Civil Service on 17th January 1992, Engr. Bello Kabir devoted a substantial part of his productive years to the development of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja. His story gives truth to the saying that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step. What started as a single step on that January day has become a remarkable journey of more than three decades, marked by growth, versatility and impact. As a seasoned Civil and Structural Engineer, and a truly versatile professional who is adept in many areas of the built environment, he distinguished himself through professionalism, technical competence, diligence and an unwavering commitment to duty.

Throughout his career, he participated in the delivery and supervision of multiple complex and high-value projects, bringing to bear his wealth of technical knowledge, experience, expertise and meticulous attention to detail. His ability to handle demanding assignments with precision and distinction earned him the respect of colleagues and professionals across the construction and built environment sectors. He was a man who believed that any work worth doing was worth doing well.

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Beyond his technical accomplishments, however, Engr. Bello Kabir will be remembered even more profoundly for the person he is. He is calm, brilliant, humble, approachable and principled, yet uncompromising whenever professional standards, quality of work and the interest of the organisation were at stake.

He was a fountain of knowledge, a mentor to many and a role model to countless professionals and staff who had the rare privilege of working with him. His office and professional interactions became, for many, an informal school where experience was generously shared, mistakes were corrected with patience, standards were upheld and younger professionals were encouraged to grow.

The depth of his impact became particularly evident during the valedictory ceremony, as staff from various divisions and departments gathered to celebrate a quintessential colleague whose contribution to the Construction Division, the Department of Public Building, the FCDA and the wider built environment will remain deeply appreciated and fondly remembered.

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The atmosphere was understandably emotional. For many colleagues, the occasion represented the difficult moment of saying farewell to a rare professional whose presence, counsel and institutional memory had become an invaluable part of the Department. Tears and emotions flowed freely as colleagues reflected on the years of working alongside him and the vacuum his retirement will inevitably create.

The occasion was graced by the presence of the Acting Director, Department of Public Building, who represented the Director, alongside Deputy Directors, Assistant Directors, Heads of Administration and Human Resources, senior members of staff, professional colleagues and other distinguished personnel who came together to honour the retiring engineer.

In an atmosphere of warmth and appreciation, encomiums were showered on the celebrant. His colleagues and associates spoke glowingly of his professionalism, integrity, humility, technical depth, discipline and remarkable contribution to the development of the Federal Capital Territory.

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The celebration also featured memorable moments, including the presentation of priceless gifts, the filling of the citation register, entertainment and refreshments, and the ceremonial cutting of the retirement cake. Each moment added another beautiful chapter to an occasion that many will remember for years to come.

Indeed, the gathering demonstrated a timeless principle, honour is given to whom honour is due.

In his emotional valedictory address, Engr. Bello Kabir expressed profound gratitude to Almighty Allah for bringing him safely to such an important milestone. He appreciated the management of the FCDA, his directors, supervisors, colleagues and everyone who contributed to his successful career.

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He also extended an apology to anyone he may have offended knowingly or unknowingly in the course of his duties and equally offered forgiveness to those who may have offended him. His message reflected the humility, maturity and sense of humanity that have characterised his professional journey.

While bidding farewell to active service, he made it clear that retirement should not be viewed as an end, but as the beginning of another chapter. He leaves the Civil Service with gratitude, satisfaction in having served his country and a wealth of experiences and memories accumulated over more than three decades.

His words to those remaining in service were equally instructive, to continue serving with integrity, professionalism, humility and commitment, remembering that positions are temporary, while the impact made on people and the legacy left behind can endure for generations.

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His remarkable journey can aptly be captured in his own reflective words:

I came into the service with hope, I served with commitment, and I leave with gratitude.

Those words perhaps best summarise the career of a man whose professional journey has been defined by dedication, service and responsibility.

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As Engr. Bello Kabir formally exits the FCT Civil Service, his departure marks not simply the retirement of an employee, but the conclusion of an important chapter in the professional history of the Construction Division and the Department of Public Building.

The built environment has gained from his knowledge. The Civil Service has benefited from his years of commitment. His colleagues have benefited from his mentorship. And the many professionals who crossed his path carry with them lessons, memories and experiences that will continue to live on.

As he proceeds into this new chapter of life, may Almighty Allah reward his years of service, grant him sound health, peace, fulfilment and abundant blessings, and grant him and his family many more fruitful and rewarding years ahead.

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Congratulations on a successful and honourable retirement, Engr. Bello Kabir.

Your service was significant.
Your impact was undeniable.
Your mentorship was invaluable.
Your legacy will endure.

Indeed, a rare gem is exiting active service, but a legacy remains.

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Long live the FCT Civil Service.
Long live the Federal Capital Development Authority.
Long live the Ministry of the Federal Capital Territory.
Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Contributed by Bldr. Maidabino, Construction Division, Department of Public Building, Federal Capital Development Authority, FCDA, Abuja – 30th September, 2026.

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