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*How I Married American Lady through Facebook- Kazbanj*

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Kazbanj, a multimedia talented dude opens up on how he married an American Lady through Facebook friendship. Among other issues, he also speak on how to nurture and maintain lasting relationship in marriage. Enjoy.

IT’S BEEN 3YEARS AFTER, HOW DID YOU MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ?

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KAZBANJ Yes ooo, just like yesterday 2017, from facebook Hi, to lifetime partners. It was like a joke when we started the conversation on Facebook. With sleepless nights, it was not an easy task for me, but from the first day when Facebook poped up her picture as a friend, I strongly knew that she is my wife.

When I checked her profile picture I said to myself ‘who be this queen again oooo lol?” , I quickly checked her pictures to see if I could find more beautiful pictures of her and to see where she came from. Unfortunately there was no location or information on her profile. I checked her mutual friends then found she was friends with an old Facebook girlfriend I have been asking out for a relationship .When I realized they were friends I was just confused about everything. Two days later I told myself this is my wife I have to go for her.

I began to like her pictures and some of her posts before sending her a friend request telling myself anything that would make her accept my friend request means she’s mine, and she did. There were no messages from her that’s when I sent a direct message to her messenger

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I wrote “Hello Mrs. Tallman” I was trying to play a fast one on her to know if she was a married woman or not. I waited for days for her response to know my faith. Throughout those days I was always with my phone looking out for any notification of her response . It took about 3days before her response came in and guess what it was ? ‘Lolzz not ” Mrs” , ‘Miss Tallman’ . Immediately I got that message I screamed in the office , ‘ wow I have gotten a wife’ my colleague in the office was looking at me like this guy is really crazy big time. But to me I knew I had found my real love from that day. It’s just like in the bible when the woman with the issue of blood touched Jesus Christ and Jesus said someone touched me, I feel her touch. That’s how I felt that day.

That is how we started with introducing each other from that August 2017, till date. No day has gone by that we haven’t talked or facetime each other at least 6 times in a day. “Facebook brought us Together”.

TELL US ABOUT THE ADVENTURE SO FAR?

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KAZBANJ The adventure has been a beautiful experience that will ever happen in my life, because i am involved with someone that understands what love is all about and cherish it.

I remember visiting different places in Nigeria together. There was a day on our way from Atican Beach to visit Badagry slave Trade and the Point of no return in same Badary my car was overheating and we were coming from Okun Ajah and had only gotten to isolo Badagry at 6:30. Pm. We still had like 4 hours or more before we get to Badagry if not more . I had to tell my wife ” babe this is Nigeria, we can’t get to Badagry today. We should look for a mechanic here to fix this car, lodge in an hotel around here and by tomorrow morning we would continue our journey to Badagry”.

On arriving Badagry the next day, we got our hotel room first to relax as we ordered for our favorite meals. Afterwards ,our first visit was the slave trade, where one of the tour guides explained the stories .The most exciting part of the journey was when we visited the ‘Point of no return ‘ . According to the guide’s explaination any slave that got to this point was gone for good because they crossed them with a flying boat to the other side of the ocean. When we were at the boat together my wife looked at me whispering to me “honey are you sure we have not been kidnapped to the SLAVE TRADE” . I laughed and laughed even the guide saw it on her face that she was scared. From the boat to the other side took us about 45 minutes. When we alighted it took us another 1hour 30minutes walk to get to the red sea where the ship will onboard the slaves . So far, we have visited different places in Nigeria, having wonderful moments together and it was all adventurous too.

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POPULAR OPINION IS THAT NIGERIAN GUYS MARRY WHITE LADIES FOR SOCIAL AND FINANCIAL SECURITY. DOES THIS RING TRUE FOR YOU?

KAZBANJ I don’t believe in such, we do have many wealthy young men here that marry white ladies just because of love and their culture, some don’t even have any plans of travelling abroad and they take good care of their white women here in Nigeria.

I am an example. I married my wife just because of the character I perceived of her and she honors and respects me as a husband. These are some of the qualities I really want in a woman.

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She really changed my perspective and what I heard about American women behaviour, so it’s not really about social or financial security. I do send money to my wife from Nigeria to America and that’s not because I am a millionaire or billionaire. I am just a normal average Nigerian man living and hustling here. I do it because she’s my wife and its my responsibility to take good care of her as a good husband, and I have not seriously thought of staying abroad for now, because I have my business doing well here in Nigeria.

YOU MENTIONED THAT SHE IS OVER THERE AND YOU ARE HERE IN NIGERIA, HOW DOES THIS DISTANCE IMPACT YOUR MARRIAGE?

KAZBANJ Well, we are still young and still have more years to live together. For now It really gives me more time to build my businesses . She still comes around often and we travel together for vacation to other countries and for our wedding Anniversary. With time we are going to decide where to base maybe in America or Nigeria, but we haven’t decided yet.

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WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE KEY INGREDIENT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

KAZBANJ Understanding and communication is the key ingredient of our marriage. I married a woman who understands what marriage is all about, we do have disagreement sometimes because we’re coming from a different culture and background, but it doesn’t last more than an hour, no matter what the issues are we laugh over it. That’s the key ingredient.

If there’s another life to come again, I will still marry her over and over again.

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WHAT CULTURE SHOCK EXPERIENCES DID YOU HAVE?

KAZBANJ The only culture shock experience I had so far was when my wife was coming to Nigeria for the first time, for our traditional marriage, non of her family members came with her. she came all alone, not that the family was never happy about the marriage. They were all in support of the marriage. They just saw it as something not really important since the two partners are happy. family members are happy too with the blessings, which is really different in my own culture, and this other thing that shocked me was that when ever we went out on a date she offers to pay the Bills. In Nigeria you know the opposite is the case . The guy is expected to pay for things we bought especially as a husband. She would just go ‘ babe let me pay for this you have been paying for everything’.

DID YOU ENVISAGE ANY KIND OF RESISTANCE FROM YOUR FAMILY?

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KAZBANJ Well, not at all. When I told my mom that there is a lady I met on internet, a Christian from America, and the way I see our friendship it will lead to a marriage ,she said ‘OYINBO OMO AMERICA Kee? Laaduru gbogbo Obirin to waa ni Nigeria OYINBO le ri mu wa le’., I laughed. Meaning ‘ of all the ladies here in Nigeria, a White lady in America is who you decide to bring home, how will you be able to control her? The truth about it is that 90 percent of African mothers are afraid of their Son getting married to a white lady just because of what they do hear about American ladies lifestyle over there. The only thing that convinced my mom about my wife was when I told her she is a Christian and always pray for me when ever we’re on phone talking so when my mom heard all that she got a little convinced with that.

When she spoke with her on phone and video chat, she was pleased so she just said If that is what God wants for your life that will give you happiness go ahead and God will make everything go well but she told me to fast and pray about it. Mum was all about a person having the fear of God be you Mr President’ s daughter or an American Citizen. If you don’t have the fear of God in you or be a God lover there is no way you can be a good person and you are not acceptable that way because she’s a strong believer. She told me to pray about it because marriage is a blessing from God “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord”.

I use this opportunity to remember my MOM, Deaconess ESTHER MOJISOLA ADEFOLAMI. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.

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Nigeria

REIGNING WITH CHRIST IN MY KINGDOM BY HER MAJESTY, DR. JOSEPHINE DIETE-SPIFF ESQ, JP, QUEEN OF TWON BRASS KINGDOM, BAYELSA STATE———(SERIES ONE)

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INTRODUCTION

Leadership is defined in many ways and to varying degrees, but it is predominantly expressed as the ability to develop others and the desire to inspire followership. People tend to follow those who inspire actions that produce desired results. To me, leaders are born, not made. Born leaders find it easier to develop and improve their leadership abilities than those who are made leaders. God ordained leadership, and having the opportunity to lead is a privilege one must take earnestly. So, people in leadership positions are to honor Christ, the most outstanding leader and the best example of leadership. We must also ask for his guidance in prayer to lead appropriately and gracefully.

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As Christians, we are all leaders in our own right, showing others how to follow Christ. To be an effective and impactful leader, we must make Christ our mentor and be rooted in the word and knowledge of God. Accordingly, the word of God says, “When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan” – Proverbs 29:2 NLT. Our focus should be on being the leader who makes the people rejoice, cultivating godly character instilled by a relationship with God for a purposeful, impactful, and fulfilling experience.

BIRTH

I am Her Majesty, Dame Evangelist, Dr. Josephine Aruoriwo Diete-Spiff, Esq.,
JP, Queen of Twon Brass Kingdom, the Amazon of the Niger Delta. The Twon
Ibe Opuyingibo of Twon Brass Kingdom in Bayelsa State, the President of the
Queens of the Niger Delta Initiative, and the wife of King Alfred Papapereye
Diete-Spiff, CFR, Amanyanabo (king) of Twon Brass Kingdom, also the first
Military Governor of old Rivers State, Nigeria. I was born on January 14th, 1967, to the late Rev. (Dr) D. U. Akporero, an educationist, acclaimed writer, publisher, and the late Rev. (Mrs.) Florence Ozomaro Akporero, an educationist. I am an ordained Anglican Evangelist with a healing and deliverance calling.

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I had a humble beginning. My parents had issues with children dying. They had 12 children and lost 5. I am my parents’ third and first daughter. According to them, they had buried their first child, a female, and another after my eldest brother. Then came my immediate elder brother, but before my birth, they buried three more, making five deaths in total.

Except for the first child, who was already two years old when she died, the others died at their naming ceremony. So, my parents were skeptical that I would survive. Right from my naming ceremony, I kept having convulsions, and in the space of 6 months, they visited the hospital once every week. As God would have it, before my 6th month’s birthday, my mum and her visiting friend had a guest who came to minister Christ to them. While the guest tried to expound the gospel to them, my mum asked him to pray for me first because they had plans to dispose of me as soon as possible due to the cost they were incurring in taking me to the hospital and the fear that, like my late siblings, I might not make it to adolescence.

According to my mum, the guest looked at me playing on a mat and said, “Do not let her go; she will be the one to look after you in your old age. She will marry a man who has just been made governor of one of the states of Nigeria. He will be a King, and she will be His Queen. She is a Nazareth; sew a cap to cover her head, and don’t let anyone touch her head except you. She will be fine, and you will never see any of your children die again.”
My mum and her friend laughed at him in scorn. But a week later, when the convulsions started again, my mum told my dad, and they bought a cap for me, and that was the end of my ailment. However, they forgot the rest of the prophecy until I met my husband in 1990, 23 years later, when I was the president of the students’ union at the University of Port Harcourt. That was when it was revealed to my mum again in a dream, which led them to the approval of my marriage to my husband after the initial refusal.

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EDUCATION AND BUSINESS

I firmly believe in success. I set goals for myself and work hard at attaining them. I was Head Girl at the Primary School level, Senior Prefect at the Secondary Level, and Student Union President at the University. I craved more in life and pursued my dreams, letting my goals grow. I carried blocks on a building site to pay for my West African School Certificate examination. Despite severe financial challenges, I graduated with honors in Theatre Arts from the University of Port Harcourt. I worked during the holidays, and the little money I made sustained me through school. I made and sold coconut candy, ‘chin-chin,’ a local pastry, and later graduated to the sale of ‘Okirika’ clothes (second-hand clothes) and other materials. I ate once a day, a formula dubbed 001 by students. I lived on fruits and corn (in their seasons). ‘Smoked’ garri (a cassava product and staple in the region), among others, to survive. I learnt the difference between wants and needs. Still, despite that scarcity, I gave to those in need and trained my siblings, their children, and others who were less advantaged. I led every establishment I got entangled in, except for my refusal-there was always a space and an encouragement for me to lead.

I have a hunger for knowledge. After my first degree, with three children, the man of my dreams, and owning my business, I returned to school. I hold a
Master’s and Doctorate in Business Administration, Bachelor of Arts and Law
Degrees, Microfinance banker’s certificate, and a graduate certificate in Education. I also hold diplomas in French, Computer Science, and Christian Ministry. I am a certified marriage mentor, relationship coach, certified Fitness instructor, and licensed financial professional.

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In recognition of my work as an educationist, banker, and other social contributions, I have received several global awards.

There were, of course, some challenges along the way. I had an encounter in the
Law School where I lost the use of my right hand for over a month before my Bar exams. I also had people trying to disorient my focus, and I even dreamt that the enemy was trying to prevent me from graduating. But to God be the glory. My hand started writing on the first day of my exams, and I graduated in my first sitting without losing my focus in Christ.

I have been in business for over three decades. I manage four companies and an
NGO (non-governmental organization)- a school, Titare Star Royal Academy
(Activity Class, Base, Basic, Year 7-9 and Year 10-12), formerly Bereton College, an Educational and Consultancy Institution, and three business outfits, namely Four-Time Product Nigeria Ltd, Peretogu Integrated Services, Nigeria, and Miracle Development Leadership Services, USA. I pioneered the NGO, Her Majesty Dr Josephine Diete-Spiff Foundation for widows, orphans, the physically challenged, and older adults. I own majority shares in my entire establishment and serve as Chairperson/Chief Executive Officer. I am swamped, working from the office to church and social functions.

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I am an ordained evangelist of the Anglican Communion and an author of several books and publications. I have two academic publications online and four books on Amazon, namely Determining Sustainable Strategies for Directors of Microfinance Banks in Nigeria, Dare to Dream (for Teens), Dare to Dream (for adults), and True Worship.

TO BE CONTINUED……..

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